Sex Diary

A single girl, 20, sexually fustrated with stupid men who seem to just want to mess with me and claim me as a sort of prize and be able to tell the world they’ve slept with me. The worst part of it all is i’ve NEVER experienced any form of orgasm, yes the typical act every woman seem to be champions with doing in those types of situations.

Men are literally stupid and gullible to believe we actually enjoyed the rough/painful/fast epileptic performance they’ve just done. I’ve also realized that all the men who are interested in me all those are engaged or in a long term relationship. I’ve fallen victim to them and slept with one who had a fiance in Russia, kissed another while his fiance was in Brussels, and recently another who had a fiance in Korea (he was trying to arrange a day so we could have sex) days before he was leaving the country. How desperate and infidel of them! I am not a whore to be messed around with, i have feelings thank you very much! I may be pretty but i am not a home wrecker!

If not taken men, it’s older men who are atleast 10 years older than me. All those horny men somehow become little children when i inform them i’ve never orgasmed, so they treat our sex sessions as a competition, something like the “race to being her 1st orgasm”.

Ever since losing my virginity with my one and only boyfriend, i seem to be going through alot of bad sex and bad encounters with men, none emotionally satisfy me. Maybe that is why i am such a bitch and have such high standards when it comes to mens appearance, penis size and personality, if they don’t meet the criteria, i never speak to them again. I’ve slept with 8men, and all of them i’ve slept atleast 1s or 2s, or maybe only 2men i’ve slept with a couple more times, but nothing to be proud of as they were all REALLY bad and not worth me spreading my legs for.

I’ve become so desperate to wanting to know the feeling of an orgasm, i went through such lengths to actually buying myself a rabbit vibrator, but even that doesn’t even satisfy me. I think through the years that have gone by, i’ve become more and more frustrated that i’ve become obssessive when i see a guy, i can’t stop thinking of them naked, how their package size is, checking their butts if its nice to look at, their face, and lastly if their the types to tug my hair and be able to bang my brains out against the bed post.

But unfortunately none of that has happened to me. What really pissed me off a few years ago is this stupid guy telling me that i’m so emotionally detached that in order to have an orgasm is by falling in love with someone in order to experience it, or the other option, just be promiscuous.

Sorry what kind of retarded solution is this? just to have an orgasm? Being in university, and living in a god for saken boring town i don’t go out during weekends, nor get to meet any HOT guys, only see ratty looking ones and their just so weird that i go completely celibate. Recently from coming back from London i never thought i’d have this whole alter ego of myself come out before, when i met all those gorgeous men, i became the biggest flirt and meeting with them all at once.

I kissed 7men during the trip, slept with 2men and fooled around with this god like gorgeous man which i wanted him to bang me so hard i was literally horny for a solid week! I never thought this side of me would go through such lengths to actually experience 2 one night stands in a matter of 4nights, even then they were completely useless.

One of them made my vagina SO swollen cos he was literally rubbing the skin till there was NO moisture coming out and the other was so drunk he took a few hours to be able to get his penis to erect, it was so rushed that when i left, hours later i had forgotten his name!

Its been 5 years since i’ve lost my virginity, 8 men i’ve slept with. Gotten urinal infection, swollen vagina from rough/clueless sex and even had to take the morning after pill due to a snapped condom and recently caught chlamydia (the mystery is still unresolved and this has thought me a lesson for not rushing into sex unprotectedly!). Kissed so many frogs who only know how to spit saliva in my mouth, i haven’t experienced a proper kiss which gave me this feeling of fireworks during it. Wanting only his kisses rather than taking it to bed!

How many more bad do i need to go through just to get a good experience in bed? My sex life is so useless i can feel spiderwebs growing in my vagina!

I’m also getting emotionally fustrated because i’d like to meet someone who likes me, not lust me. I want to be able to meet someone who will be able to stand me and be with me for more than 1-2days. But also, i need to be able to emotionally commit, which is a complete different story (i can’t emotionally like someone) only lust them, and once i kiss them and have sex, and the reward is disappointing, i loose all respect and lust.


  1. I found myself agreeing so much with nearly everything you have put in this about section of your blog! Looking forward to reading your posts in the future to see what else we have in common!

  2. A powerful and confronting introduction!
    Thanks for visiting male/female.

  3. Well, wow! I read this with intrigue and interest .. my first thought (sorry I’m Bi) was find a woman to give you an orgasm then chase down the male race for that fabulous experience. You could kiss a thousand frogs before a prince comes along but speaking from a promiscuous past; the only you gain from ravaging one relationship after another is a broken, empty heart and low-self esteem. Learn to let your fingers do the walking … not every woman will climax from intercourse but clitoral stimulation is just as satisfying .. .. and men love to watch women sate themselves and then have them “rail” you as hard as you’d like – I promise the pleasure is exquisite!
    Oh btw, thanks for liking my post 🙂

  4. Sweetie. Before you can come with a guy you HAVE to know how to do it for yourself. Trust me on this. That way when they start the whole “come for me” bullshit – I really wish men know how annoying this is – you can figure out what you want to do. An orgasm isn’t necessary for enjoyable sex, but it sure helps! And thanks for visiting my blog!

  5. Hey! thanks for liking my blog I see we are in similar situations. 🙂 I wish I could get some advice though…

    It truly is awful to feel so sexually frustrated

  6. I truly feel for you, sister, but please don’t give up hope or sell yourself short. I hope you find the guy you’re looking for with a fleshy member and love skills appropriate to your needs. He has to be out there somewhere 🙂

  7. Yes. Wow! Very brave, frank post, girl!

    I’m with Lipstick. My first thought was that I was REALLY sad you couldn’t orgasm. Then, I thought you should find a girl…

    It is true what Lipstick says. There IS nothing a good lover finds hotter… So…? Practice, practice, practice?

    You’ll get there, I’m sure. Good luck. I’m thinkin’ of you. May rapture be your’s.

    Thanks for checking out my blog! Hope you have a great day! 💋

  8. Pingback: The LIST Entire « mysexlifewithlola

  9. I seriously am continually entertained by your posts. I’m sure you already know that I adore your blog but just in case you didn’t… I do, so i nominated you for the Liebster Blog Award!

    Check it out at

    ~Thanks and congratulations!

    For what to do next (if you don’t already know), check out the link provided 🙂

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