I know that my sex sessions with the partners I’ve been with were not great at all but I try to enjoy it. I’ve come to realise that I am not the type who can enjoy sex with no strings attached, even though I don’t get attached I realised that I must have the emotions to be able to feel the want in having sex with that person rather than doing it for the sake of it.
I don’t like having quickies because my downstairs doesn’t moisture itself at all, with most of my sex partners i was dry as ever and only with the dj have I actually experimented sex with lube, which helped a lot.
Even though I am extremely self conscious naked with a sex partner and admittedly said for not enjoying foreplay (when the guy goes down on me) but I do sometimes feel that even though I say I don’t enjoy it, when it’s time for sex try and make a little effort and reciprocate after I go down on you because I do it to please you, so why can’t you do that for me? Don’t do it for a split second, spend time to get me in the mood at least. Thinking back, all my sex partners have only been down on me on the first-second sex sessions then that will be the end of it!
I know sex is based on communication but I was never good at communicating with partners, friends, and family in general! I’ll always keep quiet because that’s what I normally do when I’m angry or confronted.
I never told anyone till a few days ago to my mom, I wanted to ask her if she ever felt the way I did. After having a quickie with the dj on Sunday, the moment he’d left I noticed my downstairs didn’t feel sensitive or legs feel like jelly like it normally does after sex. The whole evening till the next day I kept forgetting that I did in fact have sex and not dream about it. This is the second person I’ve forgotten that I slept with, it’s hard to explain, I guess it was a mental block? And because the sex was so awful and bad it was normal for me to think of it as a none memorable experience.
Both my friends and mom say to just go out and get another lover… But like I told the dj and them, I am the type to sleep with someone and stay with them rather than the type to keep sleep with different people. Like with my previous experiences, I would sleep with a person but stop after a while from boredom and go through a dry spell for months (6-7months to 1-1.5years) and sleep with the next person.
Back in London I tried doing a one-night stand and I felt disgusted with myself and felt like a huge slut as well as a bitch for sleeping with them than ignoring them after I found out one of them had given me an std. A lesson to keep to not do it again in the future!
I need good sex! I am now obsessed with wanting a good “fuck” session, where I sweat and can’t breathe as well as wanting more of him. I want him to bash my brains on the bed post and be loud and give me shivers down my spine. This is all I can think of for the past few weeks, ESPECIALLY with the bad bad sex with the dj. I know I should stop but I want some action and I don’t have anyone to call for a booty call. Though it would be nice for the sessions to be a lot longer than 10minutes! Once we did go for almost an hour, which was good, but I didn’t enjoy it and felt it was a little to long as grew tired, as it was 5-6am after a long night of clubbing.
I don’t know what to do? Porn is boring, I hate watching it because it’s to rough, I don’t feel any pleasure when I use my vibrator, instead get bored pretty quickly because I know it’s a machine rather than a guy. I seem to pick the wrong people for sex.