Spoon me or crush?

I never liked sharing my bed… Unless it’s a friend (girls), my brother (if forced), family members (aunts and grandma) and mom. When it comes to my ex boyfriend or fun and games with my one night stands, no way in hell will i be able to relax and fall asleep. Especially with them holding me or cuddling me. Something in me just snaps and i grow agitated because i can’t sleep and then the next morning will be tired as hell.

I much prefer having my big warm comfy bed for myself. I have trust issues and far to independent to want to allow those guys to see me at my most vulnerable side, this is why i’ve only slept with 8 people and only allowed 6 people to spend the night with me and OMG i wanted to die!

The whole time, i wanted to kill myself and kick them out of my bed so HARD, i actually grew to hate them rather than staying interested in them. Everytime i remember those times with them, i cringe and hate them all over again. I am exceptionally self conscious when it comes to staring at me or even holding me, especially being up and personal in my face when talking or attempting to kiss me, thats just nasty!

When ever someone, anyone – from guys to family members or friends sleeping in the same bed as me, i will never face them, it is always on the opposite direction. I feel safer and less paranoid by doing that.

To me, its as though their crushing me under their heavy weight, breathe their air in my face, so i end up suffocating and my limbs start to have huge pins and needles. Once, i remember, the model guy (guy from post of bad rabbit) watched me sleep and i woke up to see him staring which freaked the hell out of me and i literally screamed at him and hid my face on my pillow. The second (post from big or just too big and to sex or not to sex and 1 night stand), while slowly waking up, those idiots were caressing my stomach and hips, i knew they were staring at me so i kept my eyes shut. When i mean shut, i mean FORCED, it was sealed so hard i could feel my eyes bleed and i wanted to die! *Note to self* NEVER and i mean NEVER do that to me, it just freaks me out and it’s not normal.

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3 comments

  1. Im impressed, I must say. Really not often do I encounter a blog thats both educative and entertaining, and let me tell you, you may have hit the nail on the head. Your thought is outstanding; the problem is one thing that not enough individuals are talking intelligently about. Im very glad that I stumbled throughout this in my seek for one thing regarding this.

  2. There are few things more disturbing than waking up to find some guy staring at you while you sleep. I hate that!

  3. That’s a shame… few things in the world I love more than going to sleep with a beautiful girl and waking up with us wrapped around each other in half of the positions in that graphic.

    As I’ve previously written about one reason I love women… 2. I love waking up in the middle of the night to slam a protein shake in winter. Then having a beautiful, warm girl that I climb back into bed with. Who rolls over and sleepily kisses me when I lay back down next to her, then turns back over and curls up inside of me, moulding herself against me. http://3rdmilleniummen.wordpress.com/2012/08/11/i-love-women-vol-1/

    Enjoy your honesty, keep it coming!!

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